Damn! I can't go out dressed in my underwear anymore!

When you used to go out clubbing wearing little more than your underwear, nothing quite prepares you for the post baby wardrobe nightmares!Please don't judge me for being scantily clad and shallow because becoming a mummy has taught me that beauty really only is skin deep.

The main question is why do I feel under so much pressure to become beautiful and thin so quickly after my son's birth back in September? (06/09/09)
More to the point, is skinny really beautiful anyway?

When I first found out I was expecting, one of my main worries was how it would change my body. A little shallow and somewhat self-obsessed but I am not going to lie!I would stand looking at my body in the mirror wondering when I would start to 'show' and what I was going to look like? I had visions of becoming Nora Batty over night, waking up with curlers and a hair net on and a big bloated tum covered in unsightly stretch marks!YUK!

As my body started to grow, i started to GLOW! (Alleged high blood pressure!) I actually felt GOOD!My lady bumps looked more pert and fuller and my hair was glossy and thick... Wow! I could do this again! I started being really confident about what I wore. I was pregnant during the warmer months so i bought loads of lovely dresses and flip flops and enjoyed it!

After about 7 months though, I wanted to DIE! My feet resembled those of a small elephant, my face was swollen, my back hurt, my boobs were like two watermelons stuck to my body, I now knew what it was like to have 'bingo wings', and all my lovely, bump friendly summer clothes were TOO TIGHT!

I became sad, miserable and obsessed about the way I looked. I refused to spend money on more clothes as it was getting so close to the due date so in the last few weeks i lived in my fiances trackies and sweated and whinged my way through the heat wave of a summer (typical!the year im preggers, we have amazing weather!)
When I finally had Alfie 10 days after his due date by emergency c section (I won't go into details, it was quite scary) I did not give a damn! The feeling of becoming a mummy was so overwhelming and amazing and beautiful! I did the whole crying thing when i first saw him (mainly because of relief!)
Needless to say I took to motherhood like a duck to water.

NOW!I am on juggling journey! I am trying my best to be a good mummy. Yet I am also trying to be myself too! I know for sure one thing I have learned. I am not the same girl from before. I couldn't care less if i never get into my sparkly denim hot pants ever again (infact ive thrown the buggers out!) I would feel odd dressed that way now Im a mummy (Don't ask me why, i just don't know)
However! I still want to be YUMMY! I still want to be able to turn heads to make me feel good about myself (believe me you notice when it stops happening!) Im not asking to be like I was before but just to find the new me!